Great Relationship

Why are some couples happier than others? What isthe “secret” for a great relationship? With certain couples it is clear there is something about the way they interact that makes it obvious they have a unique and genuine connection.
Even if you’re in a good relationship, you can’t help but wonder: What do they know that I don’t? And if you’re single, you might look at these couples and attribute it all to chemistry ordestiny. But it turns out that people in great relationships live by a few basic rules and they make these rules a priority in their day-to-day lives together. Consider these habits that can help you create a strong, nurturing relationship.
*. Great relationships are based on realistic expectations
*. Great relationships take work and thoughtfulness every day
*. Great relationships need communication know-how
*. Great relationships turn negatives into positives
Great relationships are based on realistic expectations
Forget what you see in the movies or on television. In other words, real relationships aren’t anything like what you see in the movies full of non-stop romance, candlelight dinners and whirlwind trips to exotic locations.
Real relationships take effort, time and commitment. Great relationships just don’thappen because two people love each very much, great relationships happen because not only do two people love each other very much, they also value one another and are willing to make an investment of time into the relationship – day after day.
Couples in healthy and positive relationships have afundamental understanding ofthe proper and appropriate expectations for a stable andlong-lasting relationship. They understand that not all days will be full or passion and romance. Similarly, they understand that rough spots in a relationship may only be temporary if good communication is present to work through these times.
A good way to look at this is to consider not getting too excited with the very high “highs” or too concerned with the very low “lows.” Both are momentary at best, and will not define the true nature and scope of the relationship over a long period of time. By reframing these extremes, you will be left with the right measure of balance and the right set of expectations to build a quality and sustainable relationship for many years to come.
Great relationships takework and thoughtfulnessevery day
People who are in successful relationships work on these partnerships regularly. They don’t just set their life on cruise control expecting things to be great all of the time. Ask yourself, “What canI do today to make my partner’s life better?” Little bits of effort every day will accumulate over time and make a big difference.
Think of small, specific ways to make your relationship better whether it’s picking upyour loved one’s dry cleaning, telling your partner that you’re proud of him or her, or taking over a task heor she really doesn’t like to do.
You should make an effort every day to deposit at leastone act of thoughtfulness into your relationship’s bank account. Your goal, however,should not be to make a hugewithdrawal at the end of the week. Your only goal should be to keep giving the things your mate wants – either his or her expressed and unexpressed wants. If there are actions you can take to make your partner’s day more convenient and less stressful, then do them. But, again, don’t do them for whatyou could gain by providing them.
Great relationships needcommunication know-how
It may look as if people in great relationships intuitivelyknow what their partners need. But the truth is, no oneis a mind-reader so don’t expect your partner to be able to figure out how you’refeeling.
When things aren’t perfectly in sync, couples in this kind of relationship know how to communicate. They know that instead of giving their partner a laundry list of whathe or she is doing wrong, they can be specific about what it is that they want. They also make an effort to discover what their partner’sneeds are. The best way for most people to do this is talk about it.
Ask your partner what thingsare really important to him orher. Does he want to know you’re proud of him? Does she need to be able to express her sadness over afamily or work-related situation without hearing howshe ought to handle it?
Too often we get into the habit of coaching and not listening. The best way to let your partner know you are listening is to ask how she orhe “feels” about the situation. Once they begin sharing, your job is simply toshut-up and listen. Offer acknowledgments and affirmations from time-to-timeto demonstrate you are engaged with what is being said. Only give your opinion or advice if asked.
Great relationships turn negatives into positives
You may have heard the expression: “When you are given lemons – make lemonade.” Overtime, relationships are handed several lemons. The sourcesfor negative feelings and unbalance are numerous.